It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way

It’s not supposed to be this way. You don’t lose college friends 20 years after they became part of your life forever. They don’t pass away 30 or 40 years too soon. They are supposed to die of natural causes, not from some horrible disease for which we have yet to find a cure because it’s just so hard to pin down.

And yet today, I sit here knowing that for the second time in less than three years, a friend from college is passing away from cancer, and by the time I finish this, she likely already has.  The words are hard to put together, despite the fact I’ve been pondering this post since my drive home after work yesterday. I’ve tried and tried to come up with a coherent set of thoughts and reasoning that lays out how all of this is part of a bigger plan God has, how even in the eye of this kind of storm, it’s going to be OK.

You know what? It IS going to be OK, despite how hard it is to see it and how difficult it is to process losing someone yet again. But I’m not the one who needs to know that, not even a little bit.  The ones who need this the most are my friend Ruth’s husband, Dennis, and their children and extended family beyond that.

Dennis, who after we lost Brian in 2013 knew, with the help of God influencing MANY of us to share with him, that it was again time to go back into ministry. I am quite certain this warmed Ruth’s heart to no end, because this is who she envisioned spending her life with when they got married.  Dennis, who became my brother the moment I got to know him back in Bartlesville in college.  Dennis, best friend and brother to Brian, who knew him better than anyone, who understands the depths of God’s leading in a way that lets him express it to others so, so well, and so, so differently than anyone I’ve ever met. I love you, Dennis, and know that one day, we’ll ALL be rejoicing together in Heaven with those God has chosen to take home before us.

Sometimes my memories aren’t as detailed as I wish they were, and I think I can chalk most of that up to being less aware than I wish I was at times in my life. So while I don’t recall every detail, I still remember well the night a group of friends had a plan to get Dennis and Ruth together, knowing this was the right match for each of them. I remember being invited to share a dinner at the house (apartment?) of someone on staff at the college, who left for the evening so the girls could prep everything, not disguised as a quadruple date, but rather disguised as just eight friends getting together for a fun dinner, or at least that’s how it works in my memory.  🙂

I remember convincing myself to try to eat the salad placed before me, despite the fact I hate lettuce, and managing to get through it, all in the name of being polite. Looking back, nobody would have minded if I’d simply declined, but at that point in the meal, I didn’t fully know the extent of the plans going on. It was later, as Dennis and Ruth playfully teased each other, and I saw the look in his eyes, that I understood.  And that made me happy.  I knew Ruth was someone who would make Dennis happy, and I wanted nothing more than to see my brother experience great things with a wonderful woman by his side.

And that is who Ruth has been for all this time. To slightly change the phrasing, behind every good man is a GREAT woman, and Ruth has been that GREAT woman. Without her, Dennis would not be the dad he has been. Without her support, he could not have gone back into ministry after leaving it years before. Without her, their house would not have been a home. Without her LOVE, Dennis would not be the man he is today.  And though I know Dennis is hurting today, and he will feel this for the rest of his life, it will become easier. He knows this, sure, but he has a great support group around him, including a sister, Tonya, who understands what he is going through better than just about any of us reading this, who can help. He has a loving God, who he knows loves him and cares for him and will lead him through this struggle.

Sometimes life isn’t fair, and it may not seem OK, but it’s just…life.  The group Petra had a song in the 80s called “We Are Not Of This World”. I’ve held onto that wording ever since I first heard the song, especially when I thought about all the struggles we all go through well beyond losing someone. We are not of this world, because we are only here for a short while and then, for those of us who have made that commitment to Christ, we get to live forever in paradise. This earthly body is extremely short-term, though it feels longer to us. Sometimes I wonder why it has to seem so long to us when often we’d like to escape the trials of this earth and move on to Heaven.

Then I realize that God works through us on this earth He created to add more people to His kingdom. Oh, He doesn’t NEED us to do it, but he has definitely CALLED us to do it, and the benefit of taking part in that work makes us part of His very inclusive, and exclusive, family. When you are part of something, when you take ownership of something, it means more to you. In the cause of Christ, we take ownership of that calling and it means something to us. It guides our life, lets us witness even when we’re not trying, and draws more people to that closeness with God. It’s a beautiful thing, really.

Ruth has done this. She did her time and paid her dues, so to speak. Now she gets this wonderful reward!  She’s so lucky! Ruth, while the rest of us wait it out down here, we promise to rejoice in your healing and in your pure joy. Give Brian a hug for us while you’re at it, OK?  We’ll see you soon.

A Lingering Impact

I got up from my desk a few minutes ago to take a brief walk, needing to stretch my legs.  As I headed outside I put my earpods in and started my current iPhone playlist beginning with Caedmon’s Call, as it works its way down alphabetically from where I last left off.

Within the walk I came upon a familiar song of theirs, “The Rich Song“, which was written in memory of Rich Mullins, a phenomenal songwriter and passionate crusader for Christ.  Ever since my friend and brother Brian Anderberg passed away, about 21 months ago, this song makes me think of him.  A lot.  Something about the entire progression through the lyrics pulls me into his story rather than what it was written for.  And toward the end, as they cry out, both in joy and with some anguish, “Brother, ya made it. Brother, ya made it. Brother, ya made it!…”, I feel those very words in my soul in thinking about Brian.

I thought about that as the song played, then realized that just about every day, I think of Brian. Something happens or some lyric or thing I see triggers a memory, or a thought.  And I thought about whether or not that is normal, to still be thinking of a friend you lost almost two years ago, but not someone who was technically family. That’s when I realized something.

The reason I still think about Brian so often is not because I miss him, though I most definitely do, but rather because he had such a broad impact on my life, even though I wasn’t with him daily or, in later years, even in very regular communication with him. Brian’s lasting legacy is that he was able to show many of us how to love as Christ does, how to think about life, how to see where to grow, how not to be afraid of your future, how to take chances and how to just…live.

He lived, even as he knew his time in this place probably wouldn’t last. Didn’t stop him one bit. He lived, planning for the future, knowing it was possible, even when it didn’t look like it was. I remember sitting with him three days before he jumped out of this dimension and into a better one, hearing him speak about what activities he and Tonya were going to put the boys in the next year, things to get them involved.  Pretty sure it was a specific sport for at least one of them.  He was so proud of those boys.  Talked about them at length, even in his weakened state.  He still is, I know.

I still think of Brian almost daily and it directs my thoughts more often than you’d think. I sometimes find myself people-watching and a part of the old me might have an observation less than flattering until it is cut off immediately by Brian’s words, words I shared about two years ago, that “everyone is beautiful”.  He had this ability to see beyond his own eyes and through those of God. It was incredible to see, and you see it in his pictures, some of which I’ve been posting lately from when we were in college together, much more so later with his family.

Brother, ya made it. Still miss ya, though.

We Weren’t Made to be Debbie Downers

This week I celebrated my 47th birthday. I could discuss how I don’t feel or, near as I can tell, look 47 for many paragraphs here, but that’s not my intent of this post.  No, this post is to point out something I’ve been lingering on for years but which just became clear as I thought to how many people reached out to me on Monday to wish me a happy birthday, a joyful thing.

I think a bit to how often we see social media, articles we read online and in newspapers, opinion columns, television and info from about every source push a negative mindset. I’m not saying they push it on anyone, but I do believe it’s easy to see just how negative our world has become, or at least the way we live here in a first-world country.  You can watch negativity first-hand in myriad formats, from talk shows to “reality” shows to even sports talk shows. You can see it in how news is no longer news on the national channels. No, it’s become something completely subjective and filtered through a political or social lens that an organization wants to get across.  When they decided not to be news organizations, I don’t know and frankly don’t care, but I don’t care for what they’ve become, that’s for sure.

I look more closely at things that impact many of us each day. How so many of the headlines we see online or so many of the posts we see on Facebook or other platforms are just so, so negative.  You almost can’t help but be impacted by it, but I began to think about how I can keep myself protected from it and I began thinking even more about the root cause of so much negativity.

As a Christian, my immediate response to something sad or angry or negative is to “throw God at the situation”. That sounds a little odd, I know, but what I mean is that in my life, I understand He is the source of all love and all that is happy and pleasing and good. We don’t live in a world where that would exist without Him. But what I mean is, when I see someone whose life is not going well, I instinctively know the solution to their problems is God.  But does that mean the negative factors that have influenced their lives to that point, or that occur daily, perhaps, just go away?  It most certainly does not.

I grew up in church, saved at age 4 and recommitted as a teen so I’d know for sure where I stood.  My path has been set since birth, really, but it didn’t stop me from making so many monumentally, mind-numbingly stupid life decisions along the way that I sometimes question my own intellect. That’s on me, and those were decisions I chose to make, ignoring what I knew was the right thing to do, the right way to live.  The end result of those idiocies is a past full of things I’d rather forget, things I wish I’d never done, things that still, despite total forgiveness from God, exist and influence me.  They influence how I think now, how I respond to certain situations (you can get better at that one, by the way; you aren’t tied to being an idiot all the time) and my innermost thoughts.

Here’s an example.  When Katy and I began dating, it was only after I had been divorced eight years and felt relatively sure I was ready for a long-term relationship again. Despite my feelings of readiness, I wasn’t completely there. In fact, I would argue the reason I am as happy and well-adjusted as I am now is due in large part to her and how amazing she is as a friend and wife. She loves me so deeply it has helped me overcome all the hurt, all the pain, all the negative thoughts I used to have to battle daily from the horrible marriage I’d been part of previously.  And yet, despite all this good stuff, I have to work each day to maintain a positive attitude, to not be that Debbie Downer personality, to not think negatively at every turn.

I will fully admit it is a constant battle, but it gets better and better the more I work at it.  It frustrates me when I get negative, which can show up in things as small as seeing a driver make a bonehead move or bigger things like not reacting in a more positive manner when Zac does something I wish he hadn’t, especially when he knows better.  Especially when he knows better.  Now there’s a statement for a parent, right?  Totally unnecessary line of thinking, I will add. I know I can be better, I can be more positive, I know I can be a consistently positive impact in his life.

As I think about my own battles with negativity, which do indeed also come out on Facebook sometimes, I realized that all of this negativity we have in our country in particular right now has a source. Again, as a Christian I’d like to say the root cause is a lack of Jesus in too many lives, but I know that’s a too convenient, too simple faith-based answer to something that is far beyond being in tune with God.  It’s deeply rooted in our consciousness, in our personal thoughts and how we view ourselves, and it’s deeply rooted in our life experiences.

Look at how children are able to live so joyfully and carefree. We use the word carefree sometimes to talk about them not having the responsibilities we have as adults, but I think it’s far beyond that. So many kids (not all, obviously) have no real emotional worries in this country. So many are provided for, have plenty of food, live in good homes with a mom and a dad and have yet to experience any type of emotional distress deep enough to scar them moving forward.  Yes, we hear kids are resilient, but I think everything they see and that happens to them will have an impact later on.

Well, we as adults are the exact same.  We let our experiences shape our future, sometimes to the detriment of the goals we have in mind for ourselves. I’d like to be an optimistic, upbeat, happy person most of the time.  I used to be. I still remember those days. At some point, I became a glass-half-empty kind of person instead of seeing that glass as half-full. At some point, I began to smile less and focused much more on what could or would go wrong instead of believing things would work out.

I can easily look back to my past and see which experiences began to shape that change and know one in particular that absolutely took a lot of the happy part of me away.  Getting that back is harder than it seems it should be, but I would suggest that, in the same way I have to work each day to be more positive, each of you has the exact same battles. Some may be bigger than others, but I know we’re all the same in this and I know that you, just like me, would much prefer to be smiling and positive and optimistic, even in the face of lousy headlines, or a poorly-worded post from a friend, or a stance on something you don’t agree with you happen to see.

I believe if we can turn the tide of negativity, we can maybe, just maybe, begin to make some real positive changes in our nation and in our own lives. Things that will lead us down a better path, a more hopeful future, a happier life. I know nobody who wouldn’t want that.

Now, a little fun to go with the title of this post today. Click the link below to one of the best SNL skits ever done.  🙂

https://screen.yahoo.com/debbie-downer-happiest-place-earth-000000872.html

#PFFT – Let’s Start Something New

I’m sure by now many of you who use Facebook have seen hashtags (#Huskers, #LOL, #Funny) show up in posts your friends or others have made.  These hashtags are actually from Twitter, used to mark your tweet so others can find tweets of similar subject or interest.  One example of this is that, during a Huskers game, I am one of the multitude who will tag my comment on Twitter with #Huskers.  That allows anyone on Twitter to search by that hashtag to see what anyone is writing about that subject at the time.

This has made its way over to Facebook, which I find mildly amusing, but it’s intriguing nonetheless.  On Twitter I used to see #FF (Follow Friday) often on Fridays as people encouraged others to follow accounts they noted.  On Thursdays, and this is the one I’ve seen make it to Facebook the most, you’ll see #TBT (Throw-back Thursday), where people most often post pictures of things in the past, either of themselves or family and friends.  My brother-in-law recently commented on one such post about the chair in the photo being outdated.  I thought this was a great idea and would encourage each of you to strongly consider posting old pics of chairs, cars, really anything older, on Thursdays on Facebook and then tagging them #TBT, just for kicks.

I had this idea the other day that I didn’t get implemented in time for this week, but I’d like to pass it along and see if we can get it trending on Facebook moving forward.  This note is just to alert you of what my intent is and hope some of you will choose to do the same.  I think we might be able to reach a LOT of people this way.  So what’s my thought?

I will begin marking Tuesdays on Facebook as #PFFT (Pray For a Friend Tuesday).  I’ll tag a post each Tuesday with whoever it is I feel God has led me to lift up that day. It might be a specific prayer request. It might be just asking others to lift this person up for something unspoken or even unknown to me. It might even be just a way of lifting up someone I know and asking others to do the same as an encouragement to that person.

Will you join me? Every Tuesday starting October 28th, 2014, if you think about it, lift someone up on a post and tag it with #PFFT at the end.  If anyone asks about the tag, you can tell them what you’re wanting to do.  Sound good? Great!

Have We Lost Our Mission Focus?

Today in church we spent a bit of time discussion “global missions”, committing extra funds for helping in those efforts in other countries and watching a video about the struggles of preaching Christ in places like Somalia, for example. And it got me thinking…as much time and effort as we have spent since the birth of our country continuing the mission of those in other countries before us in the mission field, how did we miss the mission field right here in America?

We spend a lot of money and energy going everywhere but here to introduce people to the Bible, to strengthen those we have helped before, to take food and supplies to those often less fortunate than we are (or who we think are less fortunate than us)…and I think we’ve forgotten about the needs right here.  Trust me before I go further when I say that I am NOT advocating we suddenly quit helping others or trying to lead them to Jesus.

But I’m not kidding when I say I believe we, as a collective American church, have failed miserably in being missionaries to our own people. If I could venture a guess as to how or why this has happened, I would say I think it’s because we figure people in the U.S. already have been made aware of Jesus so at some point we stopped trying.  I suspect we believe everyone gets plenty of exposure to Him and, given all they have at their fingertips in terms of food, comfort, knowledge, access and supposed intelligence, clearly they can figure out the right thing to do.  If that’s not it, then what happened to bring America to its knees morally and ethically over, especially, the last 20-30 years?  Longer than that?  Well, sure.  You can trace it back to at least the early 1960s. Shorter than that? Admittedly it’s really easy to blame the current state of our country on “leadership” that isn’t leadership at all, that is decidedly un-Christian in so many of its policies and committed solidly to many ideas that are preached against in the Bible.

You could make that case and I wouldn’t argue much about it, except to say I don’t think a culture changes overnight. I don’t think the slow drain of Christian ethos within government, schools, companies, PEOPLE…came about just due to lousy leadership in D.C.  No, I think it is something that started decades ago and has grown gradually worse and worse and worse as God has been allowed to be pulled out of more and more and more until, well, until He’s just not even allowed in the door anymore.  Annoyed? Sad? Mad? Good. Get an attitude, because that’s something that has been sorely lacking within the Church, especially the Protestant Church, for years now and unless we see some type of revival, and soon, it’s going to get much, much worse.

In 1999 I moved to Jackson, MS and began searching for a new church home.  One week a church I visited had a guest speaker who warned us that, if the U.S. continued on the path it was on, within 10-15 years God would be so removed from everything that Christians would experience very real persecution right here in their own country.  I scoffed back then.  I don’t anymore.  Every week brings news of Christians being persecuted for their beliefs, for a stance they have taken, in school, at work, in their own businesses. These things are not legal and they are well-protected within our Constitution (despite some statues that are somehow allowed to be created), yet those against Christians, against God, feel empowered by people in Washington with a social agenda more liberal than any we’ve ever seen or experienced. They feel it’s OK to persecute Christians because it’s been made abundantly clear to them that every other religion or thought or lifestyle will be accepted EXCEPT that of Christians.

So OK, this is where we are, now what are we going to do about it? I KNOW the solution is more God. I THINK the solution is to re-establish a mission field where we stand. God’s people need to fight for Him, stand up for what is right and take the country back, because doggone it, we left England due to religious persecution and founded this country on God’s laws above man’s, and now we’re back in the same situation again?  Shame on us. Shame on us for failing to recognize we couldn’t maintain our own strength automatically and without effort. It takes work to be strong in Christ. It takes work to be a witness for Him. It takes work to live your life right, to love on people regardless of who they are, where they come from or what they think is right even when you know they aren’t.

On Halloween, when my best friend from college passed away from cancer, I began to look at things a little differently as I know many others did as well. One of the things I saw from following things people said and wrote about Brian is that he loved people where they were. He didn’t worry about using his own power to help them change because he knew that was God’s job. It was Brian’s job, as it is for any of us who proclaim Christ, to witness in the mission field God gave us.  I watched Brian on Facebook lovingly admonish a family member who was taking a pro-homosexuality stance, letting his family member know God was very clear it was a sin, but letting him know he still loved him despite the way he thought.

Are we all capable of that? Do we even try? I know I try a lot harder now than I used to. I’m a pretty passionate person and while I’m good at seeing a number of things as grey, I understand which things are black and white. The struggle for me is taking those black/white things and still displaying a loving, Christ-like attitude.  Using the homosexuality angle again, while I know it’s wrong and I know how very, very clear the Bible is on it, obviously others don’t understand or have chosen to put human eyes on it and rationalize it away. Why? Well, I don’t know, but perhaps it’s because they just want to love people and that is their focus.  I get it. Hey, be whoever you want and I will love you the same. That’s what I am called to do. But I’m also called to admonish the sin and, as I was taught as a child, “hate the sin, not the sinner”. Bigger than that, I’m called to be a witness and I cannot do that with a hateful attitude or words.

It takes real effort and desire to be someone who stands up for Jesus and that doesn’t happen by doing anything half-way.  It takes guts to stand up for what is right in any situation, but it seems more now than ever when it comes to defending God’s teachings, and that can’t be done half-way no matter how much you’d like to stay on the sidelines and watch others worry about it.  It takes overcoming the apathy we’ve developed within this country to dare to be great again, and you can’t do that by only going half-way.

Half-way. I think that’s been our problem for decades in the church in America. We go full-throttle off to other countries to help and witness, and it’s great we do, but we’ve ignored the biggest mission field right here in our own backyards. Do we not know how to do it here? Really? Who understands us better than…us?

Honoring “The Preacher”

Many of you who will read this were either at the funeral of my good friend, my brother Brian Anderberg, yesterday or perhaps watched it online.  You can still see it here:  http://new.livestream.com/accounts/4024272/events/2511543.

I’ve written about Brian and his impact a few times recently but today I want to honor and lift up someone else I feel deserves some recognition.  I do this as humbly as possible, and I know he might want to brush it off, :), but it’s important to me to share what I saw along with so many others at the funeral.

Brian’s best friend, ever since he was 7, was Dennis Stroup. I met Dennis in college in Bartlesville, OK.  Among the many fun memories I have with Dennis a couple of items always stand out.  The first involves a nickname.  I am not entirely sure how this consistently seemed to happen, but for some reason Dennis wouldn’t always be with a group of us when we were somewhere, at least not initially.  At some point, though, he would walk in or show up.  A sense among us developed that this had similarities to the old TV show, “Cheers”, where the group in the bar would greet “Norm” every time he arrived.  One time when Dennis arrived in his usual manner, one or more of us shouted out, “Norm!”.  He knew the reference, but then I remember him saying, “You know, that’s funny because my middle name is Norman.”

Is it? I choose to believe it is even if it isn’t, because we called Dennis “Norm” and continued to do so for years after that. Dennis is the friend who, the minute he walks in, you feel a level of comfort, a sense that you belong in that place with him.  The second memory that always stands out to me from our time in college was in the Winter of 1995.  Bartlesville is not a particularly cold climate, but they get some colder weather from time to time.  This year, December was very cold at least for a little while.  We were doing a Living Nativity on campus.  I don’t remember exactly what Dennis’ role was (in my head I’m thinking he was Joseph and perhaps Ruth was even Mary), but at one point he took a break to come in for some hot chocolate. He told me at the time this was the coldest he’d ever been. I remember asking how this could be, given he was from Wyoming, but he then referenced the humidity which, being from the southeastern part of Nebraska, I had grown up with and was completely used to.  Dennis taught me something about the cold and humidity that day. He never knew or anticipated he would become some sort of expert on weather, of that I am certain, but he helped me!

So let me get back to the funeral and why I felt compelled to write this post today.  Dennis provided the eulogy for Brian. I had never had an opportunity to see Dennis speak to a group.  When he was in ministry, he was always too far away for me to visit and see how things were going. I went into yesterday with literally no experience of seeing Dennis speak to a group.  I’ll start with a summation:  WOW!!!

Dennis, my friend (brother) has a gift.  I’m not even sure he knows just how powerful he is and can be as a speaker, and perhaps he’d tell us it was the subject matter which made him effective (God has some pretty good stuff he can speak on too, by the way).  Dennis is pretty self-deprecating, though that works well in speaking, too.  The eulogy was beautiful. It was inspiring. It was poignant, uplifting, funny, focused, well-thought-out and honored our friend and brother Brian in a way nobody else could have done.  I believe Dennis prayed a LOT prior to giving the eulogy, because I have no idea how he didn’t break down in the middle of it multiple times.

It’s not just the speaking that you’d think might have brought on tears but the magnificent way in which Dennis wove in speaking directly to Tonya and the boys, to Brian’s mom and dad, to Tonya’s parents…that was so touching to watch and hear and yet Dennis managed to stay on topic and on target the entire time. His eulogy was the ultimate honor he could give for Brian. It brought clarity and peace to a very emotional time for all and he spoke such words of truth nobody could deny what he’d done by the time it was over.

While watching Dennis speak to the CROWD at the funeral (and yes, it was packed in that church), I felt God compelling me to make a statement to Dennis when it was over.  After we walked out of the sanctuary and were waiting for the casket to be brought so we could load it into the hearse, I took Dennis aside.  I told him that what he had just spoken was one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard and that he needed to hear that God still had a plan for him in ministry.  I told him I didn’t know if that was sooner or later, but that he needed to be open to it, to serve in whatever way God wanted him to serve.  That was the message I was supposed to give him and I obeyed.

In the time after the service and in the luncheon, I saw many people come up to Dennis and address him as “preacher”.  I don’t think many of them even knew him. It was a theme that continued and, I have to admit, it was at the same time heart-warming and comical to watch.  One in particular that cracked me up was an older gentleman, Don, who multiple times grabbed Dennis by the head and hugged him tight, telling him “God bless you” and letting Dennis know how much he appreciated everything he said. He also multiple times called Dennis “the preacher”. He knew Dan Menefee had spoken, but he knew Dennis was also a preacher, or at least in his head was or should be. For those who are unaware, Dennis is not pastoring right now.  🙂

Dennis told me he wants to make sure he doesn’t try to lead without God. He wants to let God do the leading in his life and he needs God to put him on the path He wants him on and he can wait for that.  Now let me say a few things about Dennis that assure me he will follow whatever path he needs to in the right way.  Dennis is perhaps the most humble person I know, and within that, he is brutally honest with himself. You always get a heart-felt response from Dennis, whether it’s in having a serious discussion or just getting a glimpse into his own challenges and successes. He is one of those people you know you can rely on, at any time day or night, in any situation, because he does everything from the heart.

But it’s more than just his heart. Dennis is far more intelligent than perhaps he gives himself credit for, even.  He can provide depth to a discussion in ways most people can’t. More than I expected in a eulogy, he gave us that depth yesterday in such a way that I found it remarkable to watch. I was enjoying every minute of his talk, enjoying his gift, not wanting it to end but knowing it would have to at some point. He created an anticipation within me, a wondering of what might come next, what story he might tell or what insight he might provide that I could connect with.  And he did this so seamlessly, so comfortably, so passionately that I know we were all sitting with rapt attention at what he would say next.

Dennis, not just today, but at least in this post today I honor you, my friend. I love you like my own brother and think of you as family. You have a calling from God and no matter where that leads, no matter what job God places you in, your gift is undeniable. You may never be a senior pastor again.  That’s OK!  You may never hold a position of leadership in a church again. That’s OK! God can work through you wherever you are and in whatever place He puts you. For all of us, trust God to lead, to set us on a path, to help us listen and to help us witness when given the opportunity.  Dennis, your depth surpasses that of many. Trust your gifts. I know I wish we were in the same city so I could see and hear those talents more. You are one of a kind.

Soul With A Body

This past Sunday our pastor said something that grabbed my attention in one of those “a ha!” moments that don’t happen very often.  We’ve been talking about toxins that can steal away our focus from God, those things that, as they build up, pull us further and further away from Him.

That’s when he made this fairly simple statement, which grabbed me perhaps more than it might normally have done.  He said, “You are a soul with a body, not a body with a soul.”

At this point I need to admit something. Right now, I am seeing just about everything, every message, every verse, every song I hear, with my friend Brian in mind. You know how that goes, of course. Whatever obstacle or emotion or event is occurring in your life right now, it seems every song you hear speaks to you and has a specific message you needed to hear.  Or you go to church and are amazed  at just how much the message, today, seems like it is just for you.

I have to admit, I think those things can go one of two ways.  Either, yes, every message, every song IS just for you or, perhaps they are not focused at your needs, but you just think they are.  Regardless, there is nothing wrong with taking meaning from something when you are going through a life event where you need…something. You need hope or you need a lifeline or you need someone to say what you are thinking so you can go, “Yes! That’s it! I feel the same way!”

If you followed me as I drifted, please slide back to center with me now and let’s jump into this “soul with a body” thing. In my little sphere of influence right now, I’m living with an, admittedly selfishly, very heavy heart for Brian. But if I think on this phrasing, that we are a soul with a body, not a body with a soul, I begin to feel a little bit better.

If you have listened to Matt Redman’s “10,000 Reasons“, maybe the last verse has captured your attention:

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

THAT right there is hope! That right there is all of us who know the name of Jesus intimately in our final hours, as we see that glorious light shining, welcoming us in. Friends, that right there is the end goal, and it’s Brian’s future and our future.  What a future!

A soul with a body, not a body with a soul. How depressing would it be to live a life focused entirely on your human body, which is extremely short term (I can guarantee nobody is living 10,000 years), and have spent no time planning for the future?

Once a year my wife and I meet with our financial adviser to assure retirement planning is on track, take a look at what we can do to improve our financial status here and later and give consideration to additional things we can do to work toward a more comfortable future.  But that future is short-term. It’s not long-term. If I am fortunate enough to live into my 90s, even, I will not have lived a long life overall.  Oh, sure, my physical body will DEFINITELY feel it has lived a long life, but heck, I’ll just be beginning!

And when we start that next phase, living in Heavenly eternity, we’ll be healthy, we’ll be happy, we’ll never want for anything ever again. No insurance paperwork, no worrying about how to meet the utility bills next month, no worry over life and death situations. Life…and death. Why does that scare us so? 

I’ll offer this up. It scares us because we spend most of our lives believing we are a body with a soul and death means the end of the body. HA! How foolish are we? We are SOULS WITH A BODY!!! That’s a good thing!

Brian, my brother, you are a soul with a body, barely into your existence with God. I suspect you understand this much better than most of the rest of us do right now because you’ve been forced to. I want the rest of us to work to comprehend just how simply we need to think to better plan for our futures. There is nothing I can do financially to secure my future beyond my living years on this earth. But there is a LOT I can do to secure my future for 10,000 years and beyond I’ll have in God’s glory, if I want it.

Praise God I took that step and know my future is secure. And praise Him that He loves me unconditionally despite my flailing about on His earth. He knows one day I get to go home to him. And thank you, Brian, because your witness essentially just preached a new message to everyone who reads this today. 

Knees To The Earth

Some time ago, as God was hand-crafting my friend Brian in preparation for delivering him to his earthly mom and dad, He made the decision to give this son of theirs powerful gifts. These gifts were designed to bring others to Christ, to draw people to Him who might not otherwise have been drawn and to show people just how much they were worth in God’s eyes.

For most of his adult life, Brian Anderberg has been a fearless worker for Jesus, loving on people as Jesus does, lifting them up as he has been led, sharing the blessing that is a life in Christ to those who otherwise may not have heard or chosen it. In college, Brian once said something to me that has resonated ever since.  In a discussion about girls (hey, we were college guys; give us a break), he told me “all women are beautiful.” 

I have to say, for many years of their lives, and for some all of their lives, most guys are unable to comprehend this statement. We do indeed, and we are wired this way, often make decisions with our eyes. That’s not terrible, but it’s just one small part of what we should be doing and it goes well beyond just finding others attractive.  What Brian had the ability to do was see everyone, EVERYONE in the way God sees them, as beautiful people with souls and feelings and minds that need encouragement, that need love, that need to know they are important.

“All women are beautiful.” I will sadly admit it took me longer than I wish it had to understand what he meant by this and just how much deeper I needed to look at someone, not just as a possible match for me but for friends, people I just met, people I never met but noticed.  You have to crave a deeper understanding of someone and know they are so much more than what they are showing you, good or bad.  It is at the core of who I believe Brian is, of the gift God gave him from the very start.

My brother Dan and I used to joke with Brian in college about being such a flirt with everyone.  Some of that was, sure, intentional, but most of it was natural charisma. It’s a charisma that is truly rare.  I don’t say that lightly. Hear me here.  How many people do you know in your circle of life, or have you met in your life that seem to naturally draw people to them? How many? One, two, perhaps three?  It just isn’t that common.  Plenty of us can talk with anyone and get along with anyone, but only a select few are given that gift to draw others in without even trying.

God gave Brian this gift, and He did so that Brian might glorify Him, lift Him up and lead others to Him.  Brian has accomplished this.  He has spent time in ministry whether directly or indirectly and impacted hundreds if not thousands. Does this measure up to a human standard of, say, Billy Graham? Does it need to? Were people drawn to Billy Graham because of Billy, the person? Maybe some, but most have never known him personally. He was a leader God put in place to help Him save souls.

Brian has personal relationships, deeply personal relationships, with just about everyone he meets. And even if he doesn’t remember every detail of your life, you know that he cares and you “feel” that he does. It’s his gift. It’s what God designed him to be. In his current role as a student pastor at Dakota Wesleyan University, and in a fairly short period of time, Brian has already impacted many and they are showing their support for him in a time of real physical (this earth) need.

My friend Brian has cancer.  And it’s bad. Like, I don’t know how long he has bad and, quite frankly, I need to decide if I need to know or if I should just trust God to do His will and work on comprehending that. A lot of people are praying for a miracle right now.  If you are reading this and are spiritual at all, I would humbly ask you to join us in that prayer, because what if God has a miraculous healing in mind?  How often does our human mind think in this realm, of what we can touch and grasp with our limited understanding of God’s grand universe?  And it’s not so much of a “what if” as it is, “Yes, I know God can do this” type of thing.  I have no doubt God can move this mountain and give us another 40 years of Brian, of his ministry, of his leading people to Christ just through being…Brian.

I don’t want to lose anyone. I sure don’t want to lose Brian, though if we do, I have to admit to believing he’s going to have some great jam sessions in Heaven with Rich Mullins and Keith Green, that’s for sure! But as far as I’m concerned, Christ could return right now and I’d be OK with it because all this earthly pain wouldn’t have to be dealt with. I know my eternity is secure with Him.  But I also know life here is just a blip in time, difficult as that is to understand. 

So this post is for my friend Brian, who I love like a brother, who stood up for me through two, yes two, weddings, believing in me and supporting me even when I didn’t deserve it.  This is for my friend Brian, who has had an impact on me in ways he doesn’t know despite the fact we rarely get to see each other anymore.  This is for my friend Brian, who God used to help bring two boys into this world who otherwise would not be here and now get to experience God’s love as well, his sons who will be just a small part of his legacy.  This is for my friend Brian, who has lifted God up to more people, with more passion, with more love than I will ever be able to duplicate.  This is for my friend Brian, who God brought to this earth to serve Him, for His glory, to show the gift He has to offer everyone who believes.

This is for my friend Brian, the one who taught me that “all women are beautiful.”

“It Is Well”, indeed.

Synergy of Spirit

One of the things I love about being married is that Katy and I have a real synergy in how we think about so many things, especially when it comes to spiritual issues.  This has been especially impressed upon me in the last few weeks as, separately and then together, we began contemplating a change from the church we were attending to something that more closely fit our worship goals and theology for both ourselves and for Zac.

For at least four to six weeks, I have felt myself dropping into a spirituality that was perhaps too intellectual, at least for my needs.  We have been attending a church that I would say is very intellectual, less emotional in how worship occurs.  This is exactly what many people want and desire and for the last several years, I think it has fit us well as a family because we had gone through quite a bit of emotional strife from outside influences and needed some stability.  Between job losses and changes, moving multiple times, Zac’s birth nine weeks early in the midst of those initial struggles…we really needed to find a church family that would love on us and pray for us but that wouldn’t add to the emotional imbalance we were experiencing at the time.

Our church provided that for us. What a wonderful bunch of people they are, earnestly seeking God’s desire for their own lives, that of their church and for anyone and everyone they can pray for.  They love to pray and it shows in the family spirit the church has.  Aside from that, however, was the reality that this church is affiliated with a larger denomination that stands for quite a few things we do not; that are not Biblical in their nature on things that are indeed very black and white in the Bible, stated as such; more man-made choices than God-made choices.

I noted I began considering this “issue” for me of being in a spot spiritually that was too intellectual and that it began 4-6 weeks ago.  A few weeks ago, Katy very casually said something out of the blue about our church not meeting her where she is anymore. I was surprised in that I didn’t realize she was unhappy with the music and concerned about the theology moving forward, but I had to admit in the same though I expected it, because I was feeling these same things.

So today we began a new journey with a new church, which is an old church for Katy, one she attended in years past. I had visited this church once before, six years ago, and hadn’t really felt like it could be home. Today was much different. It is evident their children’s ministry is a huge focus and is extremely well-run.  When we were checking Zac in, one of the women helping was the mom of one of his classmates.  Zac had an instant friend, who immediately took his hand and led him to their classroom.  My heart jumped a bit seeing this and I knew right then we had found our new church home.

The worship service was interesting and the message challenging, with a depth we hadn’t heard from the interim pastor at our previous church. I need that depth. Katy needs that depth. We need and want to be challenged for God, to find a focus that allows us the strength we sometimes lack when life and work gets to be so mundane.  One of the keys to being happy where you are is having an inner peace that propels joy forward.  I know it is not this way for all, but for me and my house, we need to know God intimately and closely hold Him and what He has taught us dear.  Turns out, more dear than we were.

Do You Question Yourself?

I have a friend who I love like a brother; he may as well truly be part of my family. Perhaps you have someone like this in your life as well. This is someone I would do literally anything for, someone who I pray consistently for, someone who I trust implicitly to see God’s path for him and his ministry and he is one for whom I am always concerned about, always thinking about. Like I said, he’s like a brother to me.

Recently this friend was going through a job search, and entered into what turned out be a very intensive interview process, covering many more interactions than would normally occur for most jobs. My friend went to school to be in ministry, has served in ministry for a number of years formally, and then informally for the last several years. This job would give him the chance to be back into full-time ministry, though perhaps not in the traditional view we might think of.

And there is something interesting about my friend; everyone he comes into contact with immediately loves him, is immediately drawn to him and wants to be around him. This is a gift God granted my friend, and one he has used often to draw others to a real relationship with Jesus Christ. He has a huge heart for others, is capable of having true friendships with many, many people at one time, and is wired to be a true, servant-like spiritual leader. In short, he has what we would call a BIG heart.

After the course of interviews, my friend was offered the job. He decided he needed to pray about it. Pray about it??? After who knows how many interviews, for a job that fits him perfectly, that is something he has done for years, is trained in and is amazing at, he needs to pray about it more? In my head, and being able to view this from the outside, this was a slam dunk. To a great many of the people who saw his post on Facebook, this was a slam dunk. I suspect a fair number of them were thinking the same thing I was, which was that this job was a perfect fit in the truest sense of the word “fit”.

I even questioned him about it, asked why he was doubting himself? He said he just wanted to be “sure”. Sure? You’re a pastor, involved in ministry at these levels for years, are incredible at it and have a gift, and you aren’t certain yet? You feel the need for more prayer after all these interviews? Didn’t you pray about it before applying, before going through the many interviews? I was a little surprised, and then I realized, he’s just like the rest of us.

You see, this friend of mine isn’t perfect. Nobody is, of course, but when something is so obvious to so many and there seems to be hesitancy or confusion, it creates confusion for the rest of us. What’s wrong with him? Is he OK? What can I do to help? I suspect I wasn’t the only one who prayed hard for my friend to make what we felt was the obvious decision on this job for him.

But then it hit me. How much easier is it to see things from the outside than when you are right in the middle of it all? How simple is it to “know” you are making the right decisions, even if God has given you an insane number of clues, if your confidence in your abilities has been shaken, even just a little bit? I don’t know why my friend was lacking in this confidence or even if he felt he was, but I don’t doubt his confidence had been shaken, even just a little bit, by not being in ministry formally for some time, or by life, or by not working for a bit. I can vouch that, at least for men, if you don’t work for awhile, your confidence takes a real hit. You’re made to lead, to be the provider, and when that is taken away from you, it’s not easy.

I do know I could look back at my own decisions over time and easily find several similar situations, where God had sent signs to point me in one direction but I kept looking for other confirmation, for Him to just sit down next to me and say, “This is it. Do it.” I think we’re all in this situation perhaps more often than we’d like, and I think that’s the broader message.

I never doubted the abilities of my friend nor the direction I saw God sending him, but he wanted more assurance. I have often struggled making big decisions on things others may have seen well in advance, but I couldn’t make the decision faster due to something that caused hesitancy, for some reason, in trusting my own ability to read what God was telling me.

The message here is not that you shouldn’t hesitate to decide or that you should always strive for that perfect moment of assurance. In fact, if you’re waiting on that, your ability to understand it when it happens may not match up with how perfectly God has placed it in front of you. No, the message here is that God has given us many helpers, many people to lift us up, to pray for us, to aide us whenever we need something, when we need a friend, when we need a sounding board, when we need advice.

In business, it’s easy to see “paralysis by analysis” regularly. Sometimes we over-analyze things in our lives, too, but the beautiful thing in God’s world is that He provides others to help clear the fog, to pray for us, to help us in making the right decisions. This isn’t to say you need to wait on everything and seek input from others for everything you do. But a wise person seeks input on life’s bigger decisions, especially spiritual ones, because a wise person knows that God has planted many people in our lives to help meet our needs.

God is a good God. Loving, merciful, caring, and supremely capable of directing us on the right path, no matter how fast or slow we are to decide things. He’s given us people everywhere in our lives to be His emissaries, and we’d be foolish not to tap into that love and knowledge.

Hmmm, when you think of it that way, it seems so easy, doesn’t it?